Nahla

I’ve been driving around nonstop with my new car. Nobody could tell me anything, especially since its summer. I didn’t really have any friends in school. I just kept to myself, a quiet nerd is what people would call me if they knew how smart I was. Taking that into consideration, if my mother knew half the things I did she would lose her shit.

I sat up in my bed on my phone. As of lately I never put it down because of Kyree. Ever since I’ve met him at that kickback, I have been talking to him nonstop. Kyree is 38 and I just turned 17 about a month ago. The only person that knows about our relationship is my best friend Alana…and even she doesn’t approve. Kyree and I aren’t in an actual relationship with a title. But, we have been having sex. He took my virginity. I thought he would freak out about me being a virgin but he was happy to take it. Everything has been going so smooth with us and I know I only want him. I don’t know exactly how he feels but I made it my mission to find out.

“Hey sexy”. Kyree texted me. I smiled as I replied.

Good morning daddy. How is everything going your way?

For some reason I have been feeling sick for the last two weeks. My mom scheduled a doctor’s appointment for next week. I got up from the bed and went to sit in front of the toilet on the floor expecting to throw up very soon. My phone vibrated. I looked to see Alana texted me.

How do you feel this morning?” She asked.

Sick as fuck…I don’t know what’s wrong with me Chica…” I responded back. As soon as I placed my phone on my legs I began to vomit into the toilet. Thankfully I have my own bathroom so I don’t have to worry about my mother barging in.

Nahla…when you’re feeling a little better come over.” She texted me back.

Kyree texted me back as well. “Great now that I am talking to you. How about you?” And I didn’t respond back. I quickly went down stairs and fixed me some ramen noodles. Usually something salty helps to ease my queasiness. Avoiding my mother, I took my food upstairs to my room. I ate, took a quick shower, and left going to Alana’s house.

I pulled up to Alana’s crib and parked in front of her house.

“Hey beautiful.” I said to Alana with a huge smile on my face.

“Hey sexy.” She stated back to me returning the grin.

We walked to her bedroom. As she closed the door, I laid on her bed and pulled out my phone to text my mother informing her of where I was and finally responding to Kyree.

I am great sexy. Am I seeing you today?” I asked Kyree.

Alana came and sat beside me.

“Nahla, when is your period due?” She asked me.

“In a couple days? I don’t know. My period isn’t regular.” I said to her.

Alana pulled out a box with a digital and non-digital pregnancy test.

“I am not pregnant.” I stated firmly.

“Well it should be easy for you to take both pregnancy test with no issues then.” Alana stated with just as much hostility.

I snatched the box from Alana and stormed to the bathroom. I. closed the door to the bathroom and sat on the toilet looking down at the box. Pregnancy was never a thought that came into my mind until now. I took my phone out of my pocket and opened my period tracker app. I stared in complete shock realizing that I have only had one period since school was out and that was a couple days after the kick back when I met Kyree.

I quickly took the non-digital pregnancy test out of the box, peed on it, put the lid on it, and sat it on the counter. I took the digital test out and took that as well just in case. After setting the test on the counter beside the other, I washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom.

“What are the results?” Alana asked me.

“I didn’t look at it.” I said softly to her playing with my hands.

I knew what the results were and I didn’t want the tests to prove what I felt in my gut.

Alana walked into the bathroom.

“Nahla…you’re pregnant.”

I didn’t cry. I just sat on Alana’s bed toddling with my phone.

Alana sat down beside me. We sat in silence for a couple minutes.

“We have to get rid of the test. I don’t want your people thinking its anyone here.” I said to her.

She nodded and we laid back on her bed. I snuggled into her and she cut the TV on.

I didn’t want to pretend like I didn’t know that I was pregnant. I just didn’t want to talk about it or think about it at the time. I would figure out a way to disappoint my mom. I was supposed to be a senior this year. And I want to finish school, I just didn’t want to think about all that right now. I could get Alana to come with me to see how far along I was. Maybe I could ride out the first trimester. That is when miscarriage is most likely to happen. I tried distracting myself with the movie that Alana had playing on the TV but I decided to just close my eyes and try to fall asleep.

“Nahla wake up.” Alana said to me shaking me.

I opened my eyes and looked at my phone to see that Kyree has been blowing my phone up.

“Wassup?” I asked Alana.

“Kyree knows you’re here. He’s outside. I haven’t said anything to him but…”

“Just ignore him. I don’t want to talk to him right now.” I said cutting her off midsentence.

I dozed back off to sleep. In my dream I seen me at school with a huge belly. All the kids were laughing at me. I woke up crying with Alana gently shaking me.

“Are you okay?” She asked me gently.

I just nodded my head.

By the time I decided to move it was late at night.
“I’m going home Alana.” I said to her as I began to get up.

“Do you want me to come and stay with you tonight?” She asked me.

“If you wouldn’t mind.” I responded quietly.

Alana gathered some clothes and we drove to my house in my BMW. I parked outside my house and cut my car off. I laid my head back against my seat, closed my eyes and began to cry.

“Nahla, I don’t want to stress you out any more than you already are. You know that I am here for you regardless of whatever decisions you decide to make.” Alana said to me.

I nodded.

“I know.” I whispered to her.

“I have a doctor appointment next week. My mom doesn’t go with me anymore. I can cancel it and sometime this week go to a clinic to see how far along I am.” I said to her.

I looked at her as she nodded in agreeance.

“I want you to come with me. Maybe if I am still in my first trimester I can see if the pregnancy will stick and have more time to tell my mom. But if I have a miscarriage, then I won’t say anything.”

“Okay. That sounds like a plan.” She said to me.

“I don’t want to talk to Kyree until I know what I am going to do Alana.” I said to her.

“That’s understandable.” Alana said to me.

We finally decided to get out of my car and go to my room. I noticed a car slowly drive by with tinted windows, but didn’t pay it no mind.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING PARKED OUTSIDE MY HOUSE?”

Alana and I woke up to my mom yelling outside.

“I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN YEARS! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?”

Alana and I ran to the door to see that Kyree was standing outside his car with a blunt in his mouth.

“Mom… I-I can…”

“Nahla. Meet your deadbeat ass father.” She stated angrily.

Alana and I immediately looked at each other in shock and that’s when I realized that I’ve made the biggest mistake in my life.

“Hey baby girl.” He stated with a slick smile.

I looked at him with tears immediately streaming from my eyes.

I’m pregnant by my dad.

Published by Heather Dodson-Frazier

Hello Readers, My name is Heather. My birthday is in November making me a Scorpio. I am currently serving active duty in the army. I love animals, I love cooking, and I love to write. I fall in love easily, and even if it doesn’t work out I always leave an impact on the person I fell in love for. I see the good in everyone which can be a good and bad thing. I have decided to create this blog to share my thoughts with the world. This blog is named ChaoticMinds because that describes me perfectly. My mind is always all over the place. I am a very emotional being and I express the way I feel through writing. This blog is going to be very personal. I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone, and sharing my ChaoticMind with you guys so that anyone who can relate can see that they are not alone. I would like to mention, that although this blog is going to be personal, please realize that it is writing. Some things will not be real. When I say personal, I love to mix my reality with my mind. The blogs that you will read will have my reality mixed with thoughts that I feel sound good in writing. My thoughts are always all over the place, my sentence structure will not be correct, my grammar will be all wrong, I may use too many commas or have run on sentences. The way my mind works is the way I write. (Although, I do a lot better when I have professional writing that needs to be done.) Most of the blogs that I will post will be relateable. My goal is to allow others that have experienced similar situations in life to realize that there is someone out in this world that understands them. If you plan on allowing children on my blog, please monitor what they read. A lot of things will be sexual and dark. Being that I am a Scorpio, those are two of my main qualities. Feel free to contact me with topics that you would love for me to discuss. I will love for this blog to be interactive. You can ask me any questions that you like, and I promise in return to be as honest as possible. I have recently added a new page about my natural hair and have plans on adding my weight loss journey. This is going to wrapped around a lot of things. Please enjoy and SHARE SHARE SHARE! -Heather

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